Liverpool’s Low-Key Smashing Of West Ham Was A Statement Of Intent

The first game of a season that for the first time in forever feels like it might end with the long-awaited Premier League title. A match against, on paper, one ...
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New Madrid Keeper Thibault Courtois Apologizes For Singing Song About Real Madrid Fans Fucking Kangaroos

Before he was the regular goalkeeper at Chelsea, Thibault Courtois was the number one at Atletico Madrid when they burst onto the La Liga scene to challenge the duopoly of ...
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The Best Dribbler In The World Is Back In The Premier League

The best, most unstoppable dribbler in world soccer will be playing in the Premier League this season. Though it’s probably not the player you think.Read more ...
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Extremely Not-Desperate Chelsea Break The Bank To Sign Their Second-Choice Keeper

The very gloomy outlook for Chelsea’s upcoming Premier League season just got a little bit brighter, albeit at a hefty cost. The Blues welcomed a new goalkeeper to the club ...
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Steven Gerrard Translates English Into English For English-Speaking Player

The one in which Rangers’ English manager Steven Gerrard (yes, that Steven Gerrard) translates the Scottish press’s English into English so that his new Croatian defender, Nikola Katić, can understand ...
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Soccer On American TV Is Going Straight To A Fiery, Paywalled Hell

Back in the golden age of soccer TV in the U.S.—think back, if you were lucky enough to be there for them, to those naive, innocent, halcyon days of 2016—America ...
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Here Are 10 Minutes Of The Finest Soccer Passes From Last Season

The Premier League season starts this goddamn weekend. It’s been like four seconds since the World Cup ended. Regardless, that’s exciting news.Read more ...
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The Best Comedy Bits Going Are Leeds Manager Marcelo Bielsa’s Interviews

If you’ve found yourself confused about why those familiar with Argentine mad genius manager Marcelo Bielsa were giddy with excitement when he got the Leeds United job earlier this summer, ...
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Button pressed as FIFA eWorld Cup final 32 battle for global title in London

August 3 – Football per se may not have come home but the FIFA eWorld Cup, a virtual version of the real thing, kicked off in London on Thursday with players ...
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Confusion over Iraq participation at Asian Games as AFC brings in Palestine and UAE

August 3 – Will they or won’t they? Conflicting reports have emerged over whether Iraq have been withdrawn from the football tournament at this month’s Asian Games in Jakarta. The ...
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Butcher quits Philippines job before a ball is kicked

August 3 – Former England captain Terry Butcher has quit as Philippines head coach after just 50 days before he had taken charge of a single match. The 59-year-old was ...
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Injury blow for Arsenal as Kolasinac set for sidelines

Arsenal have received an injury setback with the news Sead Kolasinac will miss eight to 10 weeks. The Premier League club have announced that the Bosnian faces a stint on ...
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